Being aware
I’ll keep this vague because the details don’t matter as much as my reaction to them does, or the lack of my reaction.
We have very limited control of things in life, mostly only in control of our words and actions. Everything else, the words and actions of others, is out of our control. This means that people are going to say things or do things that we may not particularly appreciate or agree with. That’s fine, there’s nothing we can do about it. Our reaction is what counts.
In the past I would have wallowed in self-pity, abused alcohol, stayed up too late, etc. My versions of self-harm. I’d wake up regretting all of that, start the day with terrible sleep, wake up too late, feel like a loser, feel like I wasted my day my life and so on and so forth. A spiral in the making.
The words said to me yesterday were just said in passing, she probably doesn’t even realize that they could potentially sting, and for the most part I have just let them roll off of my shoulders. I came home last night after driving in silence, processing things, cleaned up from the work day that was left from earlier, and went to bed. Woke up feeling fine, not regretting anything from last night because there was nothing to regret. This is progress for me. And I’ll take it.
Life is certainly a journey, ups and downs, arrows will hit sometimes, others will miss. We just have to keep on moving.
Have an awesome Thursday!
~ Aaron
Grateful log for Thu, 11 Apr 2024
- Recognizing words said that could put me into a spiral and not allowing them to.
- 37 days remaining in this apartment.
- The past.